"Right, OK. Listen up people... here is The Raw Deal. These other Mamma's Boys around me would have you believe that this Election is about "backyard exploration" or "sending dolls into Space" and all that garbage, but I'm here to tell you that the only real Issue before Us is the ever-lovin' dollar bill. These jerks are a bunch of Pie-in-the-Sky simpletons, like most of YOU VOTERS out there! What we really need is CASH people, and if there is one thing I know about it is the salty sting of the dollar bill. So VOTE HENDY!! because: "These other chumps are SUCKAS!"

 

 Let's leave that right where it is suffering on the floor and go to our first round-table question...I have them on these cards here and none of our Candidates have been allowed to see them prior to this broadcast. We'll start with YOU Rev. Dr... eBay is a fact of Small Life these days, surveys show that a majority of Smalls have been on eBay at some point, and more and more it becomes both a fountain of, and a sucking black hole for, money. If elected Small Council Chairman, what would you DO about eBay...?

 

 "Like most things, I'm for it. But if elected you won't see ME calling for unilateral disassembly of all Smalls, no sir! That kind of thing is strictly for my numbskull opponents."

 

 "Hold on now, fuzzbrain... You know as well as I do that Our parts will fetch Top Dollar. Sure, some things have been savagely customixed and have lost all market value, like your ugly red head for example, but over all we are a gold mine of cheap earnings and I say,
"Let's cash Us in!!"

 

 Senator, any thoughts on eBay for the Viewers out there?
 

*****
(More Slung Mud)