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The Senator (Incumbent) - The Slumber Party |
"Looking out at your plastic faces, I am reminded that I have said this before, and I will repeat myself again, although the real meat of the message here today is as clear as the last time I said it, not so very long ago. And that last time I said it I was not here, but rather in a another place like this one, very like this place indeed, and the people there heard the meat just as clearly as I am about to say it to you. And I just want to say now that I can tell that you are here with me to hear about this meat, because when I look out I can see you all there at the end of my look, and I know it is time that I said something, something meaningful and worthy of your attention, something that addresses this meat of which we speak..." |
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The Rev. Doctor Shamanson
- The HAVA Party |
"I see a great cesspool of need out there, and I know how to fill it because I have filled a number of holes like it in the private sector, unlike my career-minded rivals. The Handmade Articulated Voters Association has chosen me to lead us into Gettin' a Move-On, and I accept the challenge because I know that corruption and scandal only dance around me, nipping at my frock, never touching me. Why? Because I rule the school, that's why! Let there be no mistake, I'm voting for ME!" |
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Millionaire Jon Hendy - The Anti-Small Party |
"... so what I'm saying is basically that we are broke, as a people, and I am the only candidate with a real solution to the fiscal hell in which we find ourselves... My plan? We must all willingly disassemble ourselves and be sold in convenient lots on eBay! Monies generated by these sales will not need to be diverted to government programs, because there won't be any Smalls left to take care of anymore after our parts and accessories have been sold at auction! It is time for a real change! Vote Hendy - and Let's Stop This Crap Forever!" |
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"Well, I think you can see that we have a crazy, wacked-out bunch of weirdos here to choose from, and as always the choice rests with the Smalls there at home... so be sure to vote for your favorite candidate for Small Council Chairman, before it is too late and all you have left are regrets and taxes. For Figure 8 Action News, I'm Wink Blinkman and that's about the size of things." |
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Vote Now for our Figure
8 Action Poll: |
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Your Vote Counts This Time! |
