Obadiah:
(...if there is a critter on this brown Earth dumber'n me it must have died under the weight of its own stupidity long ago. Getting stopped by Marshals while trying to cross the border is just regular bad luck, but making up a false name that just happens to match that of a wanted man has to be the dumbest reason to be in prison I ever even heard about...)

(Only thing worse would be if they discovered my real name, and my real crimes...)