Obadiah: "Ok, there y'go dew blossom..."     Zerelda: "Obadiah Dirt, you must be the meanest, dumbest man in creation leaving me with kids and sick hogs and debts, Obadiah Dirt, debts from your gamblin' and drinkin' and that danged inter-web invention that sits out in the shed suckin' money and not runnin' right, not that another soul could ever understand what that's supposed to mean let alone make money, you no good worthless hunk of..."   Obadiah: "Well, now... that's all real fair accounting, I reckon. But honey-plow, could you just tell me what happened...?"            Zerelda: "I'll tell you what happened Obadiah Dirt, what happened was one set of bandits that you left us helpless against killed off another bandit that was entirely your fault, and the big dumb killer bandit named Mingo tied me out here because he said he didn't like to hear my chin waggin' all the time, even though he said I was the first gal he'd seen in ages and I was almost cute, them was his words Obadiah, almost cute, which means the evil men you brought down on your family said nicer things about me than you ever did!"