MY WORLD feature finds a new Small every month to tell
His/Her/Its own story.
So, Mr. The Clown... or may I call you Jerko?
Cubby Mulrooney declined our repeated requests for an interview.
|Jerko: Yeah, ever since the Orphanage burned down mysteriously
I been making japes and CA$H like nobody's business!
Wink: Well, there has been a lot of talk lately about Jerko Treats... any comments?
Jerko: Yeah, I got comments! I got more comments than you can stick in your eye, or print! Jerko Treats were the brain-flatulence of my EX-manager Cubby Mulrooney, the Twerp. He says to me he says, "Clown, we're gonna sell candy with your name and face on it, and YOU get 2bits on every unit sold!" So I says OK, cuz I was strapped for cash... damn ponies anyway...
Wink: But were you aware at that time that the 'secret toy surprises' inside would be sharp metal slag chunks, sure to cause horrible internal injuries?
|Jerko: Yeah, sure I knew. But jeez, can't a clown
make a buck? You vultures in the media just look at the
wussy-painful side! Lots of slag collectors write me every
month to say thanks! But enough about that - no
more story there, pal!
Wink: Perhaps not, but the pending lawsuits threaten not only you, but the Clown College you graduated from!
Jerko: Look, that's it! That College is for suckers with no idea how to glue on a squeaky nose! If anyone is responsible for the comas those kids are in now it is Cubby, I'm just an innocent Clown caught in the middle... (sniff)
Wink: That remains to be decided by the Jury. In the meantime, how IS your act coming along??
Jerko: Well, me and Adolph have some great new material for next season! We've been working with geniuses like Pia Zadora and Pauly Shore, so you know that SOMETHING has to be funny there!
Wink: Jerko, Thanks for almost nothing!
Jerko: Wink, here is MY ASS! Now get the hell off the hood of my clown car!!