I believe in reporting
the NEWS, and I think it is real... that's what sets me apart
from the Others...

Stay Tuned to this station for complete nonsense and utter ridiculousness every night at 6 and 11!

Click here to: Return to Archive Main Menu



Great New Features!
Lots of Swell Stuff

Hello, I'm Wink Blinkman for Figure 8 Action News! Tonight's top story: The third and final part of 2XL+ Episode 3 is at last ready to view! Small Fans will note with relief that this marks the end of a 3 year cliffhanger for our bubble helmeted heroes! When asked about the agonizingly long delay between Episodes, the wearesmall.com Creative Staff looked around awkwardly and made weak excuses to leave!

The 2XL+ is the most advanced space craft known to Our Kind and each harrowing tale reveals more top secret information than the last!

Join the Adventure: Smallonauts are GO!

In Episode 3 Part III: A Return to Mediocrity, Tactical Officer Lt. Zee receives the highest award for bravery that can be given to a Smallonaut: The Foil Star! This is the only Foil Star in the history of the Smallonaut Program to be given to a live recipient, and the first awarded to a female ape!

In other news, another Huge Small Project nears completion! wearesmall.com is proud to announce that in the next few months we will unveil The Toy's Museum! Wonder upon wonder and you wander through wing after wing of the finest toys and tiniest curiosities! We don't want to give anything away, so tough it out, kiddo!

From our Criminal Entertainment Desk:
Glam Band Planet Sex has filed a law suit against their manager and road crew, accusing them of conspiratorial mean spiritedness and aggravated mockery during last years popular "Gloss Across America Tour". Planet Sex seeks monetary damages of an outrageous and undisclosed amount. Spokesmen for the band insist that the lads just want to move on from all of this and forget it ever happened.

Tough to pick what to have for dinner? Our Junk Food Critic Bevel de America suggests the simplest plan is usually the easiest:
Just eat everything!

Thanks for joining us, I'm Wink Blinkman and that's about the size of things!

Click here to:
Return to Archive Main Menu