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Census Dept. awash in new arrivals as CTVT waves hit the shores of Smallistine - Watch for our special report:
How many is too many?


New Look, Same News!

Good evening, I'm Wink Blinkman and this is Figure 8 Action News, with your host Wink Blinkman. Stay with STV for all of your wee consumer and news needs!

Tonight's Top Story is our new look! Yes, Figure 8 Action News, with your host Wink Blinkman, has been broadcasting from the same dank old TV for years but this month, as you can see, we got a great new screen and a really bright desk lamp, so at last your Trusted Toy News Family can look as sharp and brilliant as the news and analysis you've come to expect from us. Did that make sense? This new monitor has a glare on it...

In World News, the first official Small Product has critics wondering.

wearesmall.com has long been considered a bastion of free fun in a world obviously hungry for your credit card number. This week, wearesmall.com will offer FOR SALE a Special Collector CD, full of neat stuff and reasonably priced as well. Official rumors are that there are plans to open an on-line gifty shop if book sales go well, and here to help us sort out our feelings about all of this is one of the contributors to this awesome new CD Professor Edvard Ng, Executive Chairman of the Board of Admirals and Director of the Ng Institute for Micro-Astro Science. Prof. Ng joins us live from the NIMAS headquarters on the moon of Gecko. Prof. Ng, thank you for joining us.

Ng: Thank you, Wink.
Wink: Professor, tell us about the Encyclopedia Galactica. Is it really all that?
Ng: Yes, it is Wink. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it is all that and more. You see, the EG is a reference work unlike any other in that its mission is to document everything known about toys in space; aliens dolls, modern space travel, and on and on. Our History of Toys in Space documents the great challenges we faced getting our kind up to the roof and beyond, and really explores the whole body of evidence pertaining to what we do and want as Smallonauts, and free toys in general, I think.
Wink: I see. Some reports suggest that the EG is a blatant cash grab. Care to comment?

Ng: I wouldn't use that language, no. You see, our goal is to continue to provide a network of quality information for the end user, and that takes a little bit of money no matter how you swing it. Sure, we are toys and money is big and hard to manage, but we have to make a buck somewhere, right?
Wink: Indeed. Professor, we are about out of time, anything else?
Ng: Well Wink, I think my position has been pretty clear all along, and that is that people should buy the book and enjoy it. Look, all we are asking is that you hunger for knowledge, the rest is up to you.
Wink: Thanks, Professor Ng.
Ng: Thanking you, Wink. And incidentally, I like your new news look there!

So, what appears to be a hustle is really just a guy trying to make a few honest dollars from his collection of toy-centric words and pixels. You can find out more about what is for sale and how to order one of your very own at SALES.html

In Other News, the Small Census has undergone a facelift! After gobs of complaints about too many pop-up windows, the Census Dept. has reformatted the complete list of Smalls in a user-friendly frames-based interface. Gosh, that even sounds fun! You can check out all the joy by visiting the Small Census, still a free attraction and now even more easy like Sunday Morning.

That is about all the time we have tonight. Stay tuned to STV and Figure 8 Action News for... ugh, for the love of... will you look at this desk? How am I supposed to be taken seriously behind an inflatable desk? Well, I guess it could be worse; at least we're not reporting on fraudulent documents in order to swing elections or anything.

Thanks for joining us everybody, I'm Wink Blinkman for Figure 8 Action New and that's about the size of things!

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